The History of Ghostrider

Going back 15 years only results in a very small few that have made the final cut to evolve into something more than a fling or one night stand [ed. Ghostrider is what we refer to in the think tank industry as a man-whore]. While there have been too many to count of the latter, there have only been select few who hold the attention for more than a couple of weeks.

So in the early 90’s I met my first serious girlfriend. I disclude anything from highschool as those were flings, and didn’t really mean much. The first girl was met at my freshman dorm. She was short (maybe 5’3”), petite (when we met), feisty as hell, Puerto Rican, brown eyes, long brown hair. She gave me as much hell as I gave her, so things seemed to work out well. We ended up dating for about two years before breaking up. I pretty much liked everything about this girl, but then again, I was young and really didn’t know what I wanted.

The second girl that came around – what can I say? Met her at the dorm as well. You have to consider the University and the time frame, but she used to wear these skin tight red jeans… ay yi yi. I have forever since been a butt man. She came from a small town and was a bit naïve, but what she lacked in street smarts she could easily make up for with looks. Everyone liked this girl. She was slightly taller than the first – maybe 5’5”. Green eyes, long brown hair. She was very good looking. She was also somewhat of a rebel, which ended up being the breakup point. Coming from a small town, she was out to rebel against all the norms, and coming to the university allowed her to do so. We drank, we partied, but in the end – she strayed, so I bailed. Dated her for 2 years as well. Would have married this one if things had turned out differently. Though, looking back, there are quite a few things that don’t line up with my desires now. She seems to be more of a free spirit and not very driven. Not that I’m not a little wild myself – I guess I feel that as a guy I need to be more of a provider, and therefore, I am more career oriented and driven to achieve my goals. I like the fact that she’s independent and does have a professional career (architect), but I think for her age, her head is still in the clouds. I think dreams are great, but don’t just dream of them – pursue them.

YEARS later, I emerge back into the dating scene. I think the last one left me with issues, but then again, I am working now and spent a couple years traveling and getting my career started. I moved from the University town, to a major city, then back to my home town in this time. At this point, I’m in my mid 20’s, have a little better clue as to what I want. So the trouble is, gotta find that person. As luck would have it, I meet the next girl at a recruiting function that I was invited to (not my company). She is extremely smart (engineering degree and law), very good looking, captivating brown eyes and one length brown hair that fell to just above her shoulders. Once again, she’s the 5’5”, brown hair, brown eyed girl… I guess I’m a sucker for them. Dating her was different from the rest because finally I am dating someone that is truly career driven themselves. She challenges me on a mental level, is just wild enough to keep me entertained, and basically changes my outlook of what I am looking for in a person. She is very independent and defines herself – doesn’t need me to do everything, or define her as a person. It’s a cool feeling. Up until she decides one day that she thinks she might be interested in another guy. Instead of breaking up, she offers that we go from being committed to seeing other people? I’m not ok with that – so I say see ya. Maybe note worthy, she came back a month later, pleaded me to take her back and offered to buy me a Lotus Esprit if we ever got engaged. Sorry…. No. This one was about 8 months.

On to the next crazy. Great, just when I figure out what I want, I backtrack, regress, fall off the wagon…. You get the point. So on one of my out of town visits to see friends, I’m out at a club, and run into a whole gaggle of sorority girls from my old University. You can probably guess immediately how this works out. Well, yeah, I hit it off with one of them – she’s totally outside anything I have ever dated. So, as luck would have it, she has just graduated and is moving back to my home town. A couple months later when she is settled, we start dating… She’s tall – maybe 5’7”, skinny, toned, long blonde hair, blue eyes. Very cute – very sorority – very wild. I guess I got the role of arm candy and was immediately dragged to every bar, function, party, etc… no complaints, but she pretty much treats people like ass [ed. I think it came from her parents... but I got my payback, headbutt style]. Yeah – it took 2 years to figure this out. Finally ends one day when she says I have no self confidence and shouldn’t complain about random guys coming to her apartment all the time… so my response – “You want self confidence? We are over! See ya”. She came to my house for 3 weeks banging on the door and crying. I have one rule – never go back, and I have always stuck to my guns.

The next one… what to say, what to say. Well, she fit the usual profile – 5’3”, brown hair, green eyes, super petite. This one was the director of a physical therapy clinic, good family, etc. With this one, I never quite had the same feelings for anyone else, and I can claim it was love at first site. In short order (3 months) we were engaged, and ultimately married. Obviously, since the list goes on, you can see that it didn’t work out. It should have, but it didn’t. She fit all the criteria I was ever looking for in a person, and it still didn’t work out – so maybe its time I went back to the drawing board. From start to finish, I guess this one was about 4 years… wow.

At least, not until I have a rebound girl. The last girl that I dated for any amount of time was a little different in any respect of all the other women I have dated. Well, of course, she was 5’5”, Brown eyes, long long long brown hair… yada yada yada… shaddup already. She had some self augmentation done…:) Was a school teacher too. She was a little closer to my age at this point. Difference was, she inserted into my life and lived vicariously through me and my friends. Anything that I did, she joined and did too. And she played hard. I workout in the gym, she did too – with me. I train for a 150 mile bike ride, she did too at the same pace as me. She was a buff little girl and I was always impressed with that. In the end though, I broke it off with her for no better reason than I thought we were best friends and weren’t moving forward with the relationship. I just wasn’t having those love feelings and I ultimately felt that I was wasting her time. She was a good catch, but maybe not for me. I probably just have issues about the marriage or commitment or something… but as you will see from the remaining blogs and updates, I’m trying to work that out and this is my story.
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Damn Ghostrider that was poignant. Okay next post we will introduce the playas, the contestants, the prospects.... you get the idea.